


Sun Leads Me On

by emer_gency



Series: Noire writes for Gency Week [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Pre-Canon, features pretty much every section of his life tbh, just in snippets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 21:23:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9203669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emer_gency/pseuds/emer_gency
Summary: Angela warmed the darkest corners of his being. She gave him a purpose when he had none. She was brighter than any star he'd ever known before.She shined brighter than the sun.Gency Week Day 3 - Stars





	

**Author's Note:**

> Experimental writing method idea borrowed from 7PhoenixAshes
> 
> Rules:  
> (1) Most of the fic must be written in 100-word drabbles.  
> (2) Non-drabble sections must be rare, and must have word counts that are multiples of 100.  
> (3) To prevent the drabbles from becoming oddly-spaced paragraphs, five minutes must elapse between each drabble, or there must be a change in perspective.
> 
> Title inspired from Sun Leads Me On by Half Moon Run

\- I -

As a boy, Genji enjoyed the clear nights when he could see the twinkling of the stars above him. He was, perhaps, too young to truly grasp what they were or understand why some were brighter than others. Most of all he was captivated by the fact that the night sky just went on forever, surrounding the world like a star speckled blanket.

Endless.

Vast.

Infinite.

He loved when they would visit the family's summer home, one located in a secluded, mountainous area far away from any city where the pollution was not as great. The stars were clearest there.

\- II -

When he turned thirteen, he received a telescope for his birthday.

It was a complex instrument - so much so that he had to enlist in the help of his brother since he could not put it together on his own. Even then it had taken _hours_ to complete constructing it. Many hours filled with so much excitement and complaining on Genji's part that Hanzo threatened several times to abandon the endeavor altogether.

And when it was finally finished, Genji shoved Hanzo out of the way in eagerness to be closer to the stars than ever before.

And ever would be.

\- III -

Eventually, Genji forgot about the stars. Instead his focus shifted in favor of chasing all of the pleasures of flesh in order to escape the crushing responsibility that being born a Shimada granted him. Something as inconsequential as dots in the sky meant nothing when there were drinks and sex waiting for him.

He had lost his way, but told himself he'd just taken control of his own life. He _chose_ to live like this. Every decision was on Genji's head and his alone. Nothing was important to him anymore except for living in the here-and-now.

Not even the stars.

\- IV -

He returns to them after he loses everything.

Maybe it was because they were the only thing he truly had left from the life he had lead before. These stars were the same that he'd gazed upon many years ago as a young boy. They knew the Genji before he became what he was not.

A cyborg.

A monster.

Not even human.

But when he sat up at the highest point he could find in the Zürich base and gazed upon them, he could almost imagine that things had never changed. He could almost believe that things would  be okay.

\- V -

Eventually another star fell into his life in the place he least expected it to be.

It happened so slowly and subtly that he didn't notice until it was too late for him to keep it from happening. Soon enough Angela meant more to him than anything. The way that she looked at him - as if she saw the man beneath the metal - kept demons at bay.

Angela warmed the darkest corners of his being. She gave him a purpose when he had none. She was brighter than any star he'd ever known before.

She shined brighter than the sun.

\- VI -

For as many miracles as Angela accomplished in her life- Genji being just one of many - she could not save him from himself for forever. He knew that she tried, and despite everything, he was endlessly grateful to her.

But eventually the clouds rolled in and blotted out his sun - his stars.

When Genji finally decided to leave, he left her nothing but a note. He could not be the man for Angela that she deserved. He was lost and, no matter how hard he tried, he would not find himself here.

Not even his sun could save him now.

\- VII -

For the first time, Genji had lost all faith in the stars.

He was lost in more ways than in just his mental state. He had no map, no direction, no destination. He no longer looked to the stars for direction - the overcast skies blocked out everything but a suffocating blanket of grey. They never even crossed his mind anymore. His crisis of identity and the vicious cycle of self hate engulfed everything else into a black abyss of nothingness.

That is, until Zenyatta found him buried in the snow one winter night up in the mountain ranges of Nepal.

\- VIII -

Zenyatta helped him learn to accept himself. When he'd been younger, Genji hadn't had any issue with self confidence or pride. In fact, Hanzo often told him he had far too much of it. His master shows that to him again, but this time he was different.

A better man.

With Zenyatta and the rest of the Shambali, Genji learned how to see the stars again. They kept him company through the long nights and peaceful hours of the early morning. His master's guiding hands helped him retake the things he'd lost, rediscover the things he had willingly left behind.

\- IX -

There was something missing.

Of all the things that he had found and all of the peace he had made with himself, there was still a large hole in his chest that he knew no amount of meditation or wise guidance could fill.

He didn't bring it up with Zenyatta until Angela started to invade his dreams - a bright sun amongst twinkling stars, eyes bluer than the sky, a warm glow to light the darkest of nights. As always his master offered perspective and wisdom he would not have conjured on his own.

So one night Genji wrote to her.

\- X -

_Angela,_

_I hope you are well, and that these years have not been too hard on you. Many years have passed since I left Overwatch and left you. I was not fair to you, and for that I am sincerely sorry. There is nothing that can justify my actions, and I only hope that you can forgive me even though I do not deserve it. I regret not having been there when you needed me, as you had always been there for me._

_I want to let you know that I have found what I left looking for. The majority of these past years I have spent with the Shambali Monks of Nepal. I met an omnic that has guided me to where I am now. I have made peace with what I am._

_But recently, thoughts of you have plagued me._

_I cherish the memories that we made during our time together, and I miss the light that you shone upon my life in my darkest hours. I long to see you again, and I will count the days until I can set my eyes upon your face once more._

_The Sun and Stars will lead me home,_

_Genji_

**Author's Note:**

> Day 3! This one took me a really long time, and I think it's currently my least favorite of the three fics I've written. The original base idea for this fic was graciously given to me by BrieCheese on the Gency discord server. Also yes, this is totally my headcanon for the letter that Genji sends Angela in "Reflections."
> 
> You can find Weiss and I on our tumblr blog http://emer-gency.tumblr.com/


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